我的人生。。。2008年倒数2天

2008年快结束了，在这一年里我做了什么呢？？我现在的人生啊。。。可以说是。。。很无聊吧。现在的生活真无聊。。身边的朋友一个又一个地离开。。好友们个个都过得很好，可是我呢。。总觉得我的生活没有了色彩。。每天过着无聊的生活。虽然现在是假期，可是还是要去training。回家又没事做。上网？看电视？无趣。。就算开学我也不好过。。一大堆功课，多到我喘不过气来。还有很多让我不想去那间学院上课了。。很后悔为何当初我放弃了matric...如果我选着那条路，我觉得现在的生活应该是多姿多彩吧。。咳。。为何我现在的人生就是这么无聊。。朋友？越来越少了。。以前的老同学好友，再见面感情都没有以前这么好了。。可是她们彼此看起来还很要好。。可是我呢？？就好像跟她们很谈不来去。。也许是我跟她们读的课系不一样吧。。还是她们觉得我变很怪去，因为我的睡眠跟普通人不一样，想法也不一样。。我觉得我跟她们越来越疏远。。为什么念这课的人就是会变这么怪。。不懂当初为何会这么听老爸的话。。来这样折磨自己呢。。青春期是用来玩的，还有享受青春的不是吗? 为何我要这样对自己呢。。把自己搞得老很多倍似的。。。偶尔还是很想念以前中学的生活。。尤其是中5的时候，是我最没压力的一年。。可是现在的生活，每天就是这么压力，连假期都这么压力。。咳。。。好想抛开所有的烦恼啊。。好像独自一个人去游学，去看看外面的世界。。无忧无虑，自游自在。。可是我觉得这个梦想很难会实现吧。。。咳。。。。

time plz stop 4 a moment...

juz feelin vry empty n din know wad im doin these days...lost hope in almost evthng...no hope..n i dont know wad im doin now..studies?? cant get bac 2 those days how i used 2 strive hard 4 wad i wanted..but now no..dont know since when i got these kind of sickness...getting more far from my frens n family..feel lost and empty..i rather be alone n nobody wud disturb me.n juz do wad i wan n wad i thnk..nobody thr 2 talk bad thngs behind, ruin ur reputation, backstabbers, those wad we call 小人..thrs 2 many i gt into these days..izit these kind of ppl wil get more of the benefits? getting advantage from some1 else n then juz step tht person under their feet?? n ppl juz get convinced by their cheating technique tht seems like they r da 1 who is worth believing.nvm tht.balancing myself so tht i wont get effected by these ppl..dont judge the book by its cover...this is true..2 my frens out thr..its up 2 u 2 believe it o not..its ur choice...so..time plz stop..i dont wan 2 move 4wrd anymore...its freakin me out.i juz feel like im btr 2 be out of this world!!!

咳......

咳..又是要吐心声的时候了..每次心情不好就是来这里吐吐心声..希望会好过些..
最近学院发生了很多事情..友情与爱情都受到考验..天啊..不知道什么时候那些人才可以看开点,不要为了那么一点小事就乱生气人啦..咳..我们也是人叻..尤其是身边的好友,她是最不好受的..我又觉得很内疚为何帮不上她..之前她帮了我很多人家看不到的..现在老友有难我却帮不上她..我是不是很没用? 咳..求求你们放过她吧....
说回我也没有好过..每天好像都要看人家的脸色做人..实在受不了啊..反过来如果有什么小差错又要挨骂了..到底什么时候他才会懂我的感受啊..整天说我不懂他的感受,那谁来懂我的啊...咳...
今天不知何来的风,我终于会用华语来诠释我的感受了..因为我从来都不用华语打字的,而且我的华语是全科从后面排起第一的科目..我的华语是不是很烂?? 嘿嘿...没计...我快疯了!!!!!!
放假的时候,我在一间室内设计公司打工..学到的东西也不少..老板人不错..还认识了一位好心的同事..他教了我很多东西..也常常对我谈吐他在这一行的经验,还有很多很多..多到我怕到了..咳..迟点我也会遇到这样的问题的..倒不如早点知道会比较好...他说我想太多..也许是吧..我就是想太多..所以才常常误会人家..也许这也是"他"对我的不解吧..咳..不是我要想太多,是你的动作常常让我想起一些事情...还有当我没有想太多的时候,后果就是比原来的差很多很多...我该怎么办才好啊.....
天啊..救救我吧..我真的快疯了啦!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

holiday?? or boring day??

seems its been anothr long time again since i last updated my blog..finally hv sum free time now so that i can crap sth here..headache sumore..keep on headache these days..starting 2 wonder wad happened 2 me these days..*sob sob*
haizz...lost a lot of confidence lately..studies..relationship..frens..family..think im a weirdo..nah..din know wad im talking abt...juz craps..huh..told u im talking crap here..lolxx..
holiday started n i thnk it wont be a long 1 like the last holiday..not satisfied wif my sem3 tho..evthng juz happened beyond my ctrl..starting 2 feel im left out in this world..no more hope..esp in studies..kinda feel architecture isnt my right choice after all..i dun thnk i like it at all..even though it includes sum design stuff but its far more than i expected..n the most important..it isnt the 1 that i like after all...til now graphic design is stil my 1 n only love..hahaxx..talking abt GD..it juz makes my life goes brighten up..love the random colours where i can play freely wif them..colour is my life...not more 2 say architecture is juz none other than construction..structure..materials...PHY PHY & PHY..arghhHHH!!! hate that subject so muc..haizz...dun even think abt changing course now..my daddy wont let me..wuwuwuwu...

btw..ade left 2day..to UM pursuing her degree in accounting...so heng she got the course she wan...i was so regret i came bac from matric labuan in the first place.so that i wont b here facing all sorts of unwanted problems..even the last holiday which i tot turns out right also became wrg 4 now..uh..dun even say it again..evthng happening around me it reli fake..its juz evthing is juz playing a game wif me..n sure im the loser at last..haizz...i dont know this game will run 4 how long...im juz trying 2 calm down myself 4 da moment n hope i wont end up in the mental hospital...haizz...GAstriC aGaIN...pLuS heADaChE...consequence of late n less slp coz of piles of assignments..haizz...c..even my body wans 2 play game wif me...arRRGHHHHH!!!!!! RUbBiSH!!!!!!! fAKe!!!!!! cant i live a normal life??

well...my hp stop getting sms 4 almost half day ord...duno whr that pig had gone..2 slp i thnk...nah..he never understand wad i wan n wad i ONLY wan..owes help him chap sam nia...waste my time talking 2 this r******

nex week going 2 work at an interior design firm...i hope i can get rid of evthng s soon s possible..so dat those problems wont come attack me again..haiz..hope i can make it lo...n hope 4 da best..change plac awhile so that i can feel btr...

im back!!

its been a long long long time since i last updated my blog...was bz all year..hahazz..finally hv da mood 2 update it liao..actually i've 4gotten dat i had a blog..duh..assignments till hin ki liao..lolz..
reli a lot thngs happened last yr.i mean the yr 2007..friends, relationships, studies, assigments, finals..2 many 2 list it dwn..haha..finally have a gd rest this 2 months +.holidays!! yeah..no worries..but its reli a boring holiday..miss those days "siaoing" wif my coursemates in college..hahazz..dats da memories...
i've been changing college last yr.blur wif my stidues 4 a while..lkw to matric labuan..bac 2 lkw again coz i dun get da course i wan in matric.they gv me acc which i thnk taking acc in private u is faster n better than in gov u..n now ended up taking CAT as my part time course at ftms..so stress last sem.taking 2 courses at a time.n lots of problems was dumped on me..relationships, exams, assignments...sob sob.n nobody understands my feeling..sooo sad..arh!! cant imagine it again..i was lucky i'd survive till now..thk Godness..haha..
Vicky leaving us soon 2 cyberjaya 4 her degree.she's goin after cny..sure gonna miss her lots..haiz..without vicky reli feels like thrs sumthng missing...hope our frenship 4eva!!
sem3 coming soon lo..hehe..anothr tougher sem 4 us..knot play play anymore.muz concentrate more on studies liao..n i cant imagine da stress i'll hv.hving nite cls again n being the librarian..duh..think tiok du hin ki la..BORED N STRESSED!!!!
kinda relax lately..but dat doesn't mean i dont hv any worries at all..still worried abt my CBE exam this month.i'm taking paper 4.quite tough tho.hvn study 4 it yet...lol..lazy...coz holiday 2 long liao...haha...bcum lazy ki..
hmm...dono wad m i feeling these days..its owes playin in my mind..kinda weird..sumtimes i feel it.sumtimes i dont reli..hard 2 make decision ler..hope i can make it clear lo.n hope its true also..n i dono wad m i taking abt now..arh..rubbish..juz 4get abt it..hahaha...
neways, those 2 new shopping mall reli dono how 2 say..boulevard..too small la..walk few steps jiu finish liao..although i like momoe n sushi king la..dats da only 2 shop that i'm satisfied wif..spring..haha...no need say jiu know liao la..reli hv more standard..i din reli finish shopping it actually..got my favourite shoe brand thr.sushi king sumore..bobian..i siao sushi de ma..hahah...
my stupid phone reli can throw away liao..lousy 1..cant connect to pc.wad configuration error lo...haiz..sienzz..cant upload pic liao..
hmm...dono wan say wad liao..coz 2 many until i 4got d..haha..i'll update more frequent lo..since i m so bored..hahah...cheers 4 2008!!! yahoo!!!